Last year sometime, I was complaining to a colleague that I didn't have the time or the money to go back home to England enough. His response took me aback. Rather than join in with my whole "it sucks"-fest, he said to me: "If you wanted to go, you would."
My first response to this is defensive, no you don't understand, I have no time, NO money etc etc blah blah. But when I thought about it, he was completely right. I could take the time, I could find the money, I could go alone and not take my daughter, I could go for the weekend, I could fly to a different airport. If I really, really wanted to go more often, I would. It's just that I have other things that I want MORE.
And I realized just how wise this statement is. You can apply it to almost anything in life. How often do we, as runners or triathletes for example, hear people say "Oh I could never do that". Actually, you could. And if you wanted to, you would. Whether it's a first triathlon, a 5 km, a marathon, an ironman, an ultra, a cross channel swim or a trip to the North Pole, if you really, really wanted to, you would.
After all, people have finished Ironman triathlons with no legs and with terminal cancer.
Speak another language? Become a great guitar player? Lose 5 stone? Move to another country? Meet a certain celebrity? Write a book? If you really wanted to, you would. I know people who have done all these things, because they wanted to. They decided not to worry about problems or other people's opinions or the consequences, and they just did it. That's what happens when you really want something.
True, if I wanted to be a ballerina, the pope or a catwalk model, these things are probably not going to happen no matter how much I want them. (I don't!) And anything involving other people's choices is a little tricky too; really, really wanting someone to like and approve of you seems to have the totally opposite effect. (Dammit!)
But most things, if you really want to, you will. Somehow. If you don't find a way, then you didn't really want it. Does what you're working towards right now feel right, or are you working towards what you think you should want? Am I working towards what I think I should want?
Deciding you really want something is not just the first step. It's the only step. But it isn't a brain-decision, it's a heart-and-soul-decision. It has to be the truth. Nothing else works.
I'm working on separating what I should want, what other people want me to want, what I think other people will think about what I want, the obstacles in the way of what I want….from what I really want. I'll know when I know.
Right now, I want lunch...
